Saturday, April 26, 2008

Sad Saturday

It is really strange. Sometimes I think that this blogging world is surreal until I ran across an old friends blog. It doesn't look like she is blogging any more but she blogged all of 07. Very interesting that this blogging world has been around for some time and were was I? Working, being a mom and taking on new challenges and POOF here I am blogging.

This past year my husband and I took a challenge on for our family and to be honest I think that this week was an eye opener. I sit here and think do our deeds go noticed? Yes I am feeling badly because what we are doing is more than we should handle but we are doing it even graciously. I have learned more about Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease than I ever thought I would know. Even though we have a full time caregiver who is phenomenal we still are very active in my in laws life. Does anyone recognize that we do it all for them? We are going on 5 months since they moved in and yesterday I didn't want to go home.

In this challenge I realize that I need God more than ever, along with my friends, and especially the kids and my husband.

I can't even imagine his pain to watch his mother's health decline. When the family comes to visit they are saddened to see her. She may or may not remember them. It makes me think back to the Dr. Seuss book Are you my Mother?

Sometimes when you are going above and beyond and you are not thanked it really hurts. More than you can imagine. Do you ever just love someone so much and think that if you don't tell them how you are feeling it will just go away because you make excuses for them? Some days I get sick of the excuses and want to scream. The pain doesn't go away it is just softened. I tell myself someday I will be able to express my pain. Maybe? On the other hand I love them so much that it is ok and I am very excepting.

I understand that not many can understand what we do on a daily basis from medications, bills, care, Dr.'s appointments and so much more I can't even remember most days. If only some of the deeds went noticed.

Yes I am having a pity party. I am having a really hard week. Thanks for listening. OH and by the way the real estate market is in the pits.


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6 comments:

Kimberley said...

You are doing an incredible job...but then again, you are an incredible person. Your treasures are being stored up for you in heaven...even if things go un-noticed down here, your rewards wait for you up there!

Debbie said...

You are being appreciated. By the people you are caring for who probably can't express it and your Heavenly Father who will give you all the sustenance you need each day. It's ok to feel the way you are feeling...it is a tough load to care for your in- laws AND your children and a house and a husband and a job. Don't lose heart. Pray for strength and peace. I will lift all of you up in prayer.

Talk about housing markets in the dumps...the houses around here have fallen $100K this year. Good thing we aren't selling. It will turn around...it always does.

Evi said...

Hang in There. It really sounds like things are tough and I am sure some days you can not remember what life used to be like anymore.
I will pray that you will just let God Hold you during the times when you think you don't have what it takes. What an amazing choice you made to open your home and your heart. You will be held my dear, this is His promise.

lovemywill said...

Caring for our parents is such a new horizon... Didn't we all just figure out how to care for our kids?

I promise it's appreciated, it's inspiring, it's selfless and I can't begin to imagine how totally overwhelming it must be.

What a way to honor your husband by caring for his mother.

Remember to take care of you too.. maybe a bubble bath and a really good book?

Sending lots of really good energy your way.

Drama Mama said...

Not sure how I got here- It is rare that I find someone who blogs, has kids and works full time- I thought I was the only one out there til I read your BIO- Girl, I lived with my in-laws for a year- So I admire what you are doing! Nice to find you! Come visit me at the DramaPond!

Heather said...

Okay...I MISS YOU!! Post, sister, post.